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How do i deal with hating/hurting myself?; People won't treat me differently 'cause they know this, right?
Topic Started: Oct 11 2014, 02:59 AM (1,537 Views)
Doggo Champion 2k17 Oct 14 2014, 04:39 AM Post #31
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Yeah, and I would agree with all of that. The only reason I'm arguing here is due to the way your posts were worded previously. You were making it seem like there is only one root of depression and only one solution, which is definitely not the case. It's not simple at all. There also seemed to be some misunderstandings in regard to mental illness, which Buu corrected.

Moving onnnnn. ^_^
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+ Steve Oct 14 2014, 02:40 PM Post #32
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.

 As others have said doctors and therapists aren't necessarily going to help, medication especially more often than not it's just a temporary fix it can make you feel great but depression will creep back eventually, good to have but it won't fix whatever is causing your depression.

The cures are either finding the root of the problem, or finding happiness. Both are difficult but worth it in the end.

Not to say that you shouldn't go to a doctor, it might be a good idea to get medication like Prozac or whatever and continue fixing the problem.


I used to be depressed near constantly and felt completely alone and worthless, still have days where I just want to not exist but what basically fixed me is getting a girlfriend, someone that makes me happy.
If the issue is related to loneliness, self esteem or anything like that having a partner that can make you feel loved does more than any pill ever could.
Of course there's issues with finding someone nice but just don't be picky, nobody needs a glamour model to attain happiness.
Better looking people seem to be more stuck up anyway whereas average people tend to have been put down a lot in school or whatever, so are thus more likely to understand what you're going through possibly be experiencing the same thing.

Another great thing it does is take the focus off you and your problems slightly, as you think more about your partners needs and feelings you think less and less of how terrible you feel and eventually feelings like that fade away as you gradually realize how much better your life is.

But again determine the root of the problem, if you were in a traumatic accident or were abused etc therapy and medication is more than likely the better solution or at least the better initial route.


All I can say for sure is, nothing changes if nothing changes.
If you don't try to help yourself or get help you will probably always feel this way and there is nothing good about that.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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Buuberries Oct 14 2014, 06:53 PM Post #33
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No

 what you guys have to realise is that there isn't a cure for depression, or any other mental issue for that matter. i dont know any figures at the top of my head but it's something like 50% of people who've experienced it will experience it at least one more time in their lifetime. and im talking about major depressive disorders, and not just feeling sad/upset for a couple weeks. there isn't a "find the root of your problem and it'll go away" or "find happiness" type fix.

to cover the first one (finding the root of your problem), it's good to have insight and, quite often, you'll experience catharsis from it. that's what some talking-therapies do, particularly ones that take a more psychodynamic approach -- delve into your past experiences and see if theyre the cause of your current issue(s). the problem is it doesnt fix anything otherwise research evidence for those types of therapies would be far more supportive than what they currently are. further, it's extremely difficult to find the source of a problem in the first place. it's just so subjective and you can speculate as much as you want, but there's really no way to verify that event X was 100% the cause of an episode of depression youre going through.
now throw in possible chemical imbalances and you just have one big fat s*** of a mess to sort through.

now the finding happiness part, i just see see that in the same way as some people might think taking meds will be the best way to treat depression. ultimately the underlying causes are going to be left untouched and you're just masking the problem.
to take the girlfriend example, and no offence to you, stevie g, and in no way am i telling you you've done the right or wrong thing since i know jacks*** about you, but ive known and helped so many people who were feeling like s*** and thought that getting a girlfriend or boyfriend would fix everything wrong with them. from what i've observed and experienced, it doesnt at all. it's just using someone else to cover up all your own insecurities and flaws, and w/o working on them it's unfair to both yourself and your partner since you're bringing so much baggage into the relationship, and chances are it'll hamper your efforts as well as theirs to grow and flourish.

this is why I think of cbt quite highly since it attempts to change your beliefs/emotional reactions to stimuli -- things that are observable via behaviour.

e.g., there's something called the ABC theory of emotional response whereby a is the action/event that elicits an emotional response from you, and C is the consequence. so pelador call ninjaneer a silly goat (A), and ninjaneer's response (C) is to get annoyed or even angry, and call pelador a retard. now that's a fallacy cuz A doesnt cause you to feel that emotional response; it's your belief (B) that leads to that. if one's past history involves a lot of people call him/her names, then obviously he or she is going to think that this person is being serious and most likely isnt joking. you cant change or control external stimuli, but you can change your perspective of it.


now take the OP's second sentence -- there are so many ways to look at it:

"Lot's of people seem to hate me, i hate myself, i try to stab myself, i hurt myself."

many people supposedly hate him/her. does the OP know every single one of those people? perhaps he/she just had a few bad interactions with a small number of them, or even just one of them, and started to assume that a lot of people hate him. that's overgeneralisation and jumping to conclusions. maybe a lot of people do hate him/her -- in which case, the OP has to run through a series of events in their head and figure out if his/her actions led to them, because most people dont just start hating other people for no reason. and so on and so forth.
i dont want to touch up on the op's attempted self-harm since theyshould really see a professional on that, but what makes him/her hate himself? whatever those reasons are, why are they seen as a bad thing? etc

so many questions that cant be answered by finding the cause of a problem or solved by medication. cbt isnt a cure-all, either. that's why a lot of therapies use integrative methods.
¯\(°_o)/¯
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+ Steve Oct 14 2014, 07:19 PM Post #34
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Greetings. I will be your waifu this season.
Buuberries
Oct 14 2014, 06:53 PM
now the finding happiness part, i just see see that in the same way as some people might think taking meds will be the best way to treat depression. ultimately the underlying causes are going to be left untouched and you're just masking the problem.
to take the girlfriend example, and no offence to you, stevie g, and in no way am i telling you you've done the right or wrong thing since i know jacks*** about you, but ive known and helped so many people who were feeling like s*** and thought that getting a girlfriend or boyfriend would fix everything wrong with them. from what i've observed and experienced, it doesnt at all. it's just using someone else to cover up all your own insecurities and flaws, and w/o working on them it's unfair to both yourself and your partner since you're bringing so much baggage into the relationship, and chances are it'll hamper your efforts as well as theirs to grow and flourish.
That's what I mean it's about finding the right person to either take on your baggage or who has similar baggage so you can work together to overcome it.
It's a lot easier to talk to someone who either you know cares unlike a therapist or someone you know knows how you feel.

Not just any random person :p

But as I said that's best suited to lonely or self esteem based depression a girlfriend or boyfriend won't make you overcome your PTSD over something in most cases.

So it's certainly not a definite cure/solution but under the right circumstances and with the right person it can be one.


It's all about finding the right way to get help.
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Definitely not a succubus, fear not
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